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Old Habits Die Hard

On a busy Beijing street an old man stops and takes a moment to clear his throat. He spits unselfconsciously on the ground. A few seconds later, the old man wipes his mouth and moves on. Nearby, an elegantly dressed woman on hearing the hacking sound from the old man's throat turns her head. She looks with interest in his direction. The old man doesn't notice the woman until a few seconds later she walks up to him.

Speaking in a low, polite voice, she talks to him, while reaching inside her handbag and handing him a card upon which is written: “We Respect Others, Spitting is Harmful.”

The old man reads the card and looking visibly shocked stares into the woman's face.

“Are you a doctor?” he asks.

“No,” she says.

They talk for some minutes. Before they part the old man thanks the woman for helping him see there was something about his own behaviour he had not realized could cause offence to others.

True to life, this story is a compelling illustration and brief glimpse into the work of Lu-Chin Mischke, the woman in the story. The old man is an Everyman, an anonymous member of the public Mischke tries to help.

“I thought old habits die hard—or just won’t die—so, I've got to do something,” said Mischke, the Chinese-born founder of the Pride Institute, a local NGO that promotes “common courtesy, etiquette and a sense of order” in daily life.

A good humoured and self-appointed monitor of correct social behaviour, Mischke’s experience of a decade living abroad showed her the contrast in daily manners between cultures, and that gave her the inspiration to do something about it in China.

A short bus ride through the city reveals a great variety in public behaviour, some of which might disappoint more educated locals in their fellow countrymen and women as well as surprising visitors to the city.

Mischke delivers lectures to college students and young children—often from disadvantaged backgrounds—and she hands out cards that explain proper from improper behaviour when she comes across examples of it on the street. Her cards read: We line up properly, we don’t cut in line. Be considerate, don’t be too loud. Why treat our country like a garbage can?

With public perception of her being somewhat of a bossy—Mischke is routinely dubbed "Mrs. Manners" by the press. In person, she is softly spoken and gentle. This probably explains how she gets away with handing out etiquette penalty cards like a no-nonsense school “marm” or bolshy referee on a football field.

Telling off complete strangers for spitting on the street, picking their noses in public, talking too loudly, jumping queues, or for letting their children urinate where they please and swearing in public takes considerable courage.

The response she gets, however, is not what you would imagine, she says.

“In most cases I am thanked for my consideration for public behaviour. My approach is spontaneous and casual and an opportunity for people to also learn some English, as the material I hand out is written in two languages.”

“I say: ‘Take a look and pass to your friend’ and so often people will tell me: ‘I never think I’m treating my country like a garbage can when I drop litter on the ground.’ ”

 Mischke grew up in Tianjin the eldest of three children from an average Chinese family. After a stint in Japan, where she met her husband, Minor Group China “Sizzlers” CEO Todd Mischke, she moved to the United States.

Her missionary-like zeal to promote better public behaviour and advance positive peer pressure around these issues, and at her own expense, to found the Pride Institute in 2005, was sparked on her return, where she came to live in Beijing after a decade away from China with husband and young daughter Malekia.

“On returning I recognised that many Chinese people were simply not aware that their social behaviour may be undesirable to others.”

Mischke says to some extent the behaviour is because of a traditional mentality and the result of misinformation about health.

“These are the living conditions of a people who were very poor for so many years.”

Mischke also blames the way of life in the countryside, where lack of consideration for the environment breeds too relaxed an attitude to unacceptable public behaviour.

“Just like everyone, everywhere, Chinese people want to be respected. But in order to be respected, I tell them, you need to have respectable behaviour.”

Driven to write, Mischke published Bringing out the Best in Yourself, a companion guide to social etiquette for the Chinese people that compliments the work of the Institute; it was launched in June 2007 by the China Youth Press.

“The book is based on observations and interactions with people from different walks of life.  It not only addresses etiquette issues in China, but also offers solutions to solve these social problems.  It gives tips for every day manners that are often overlooked by other books, all from the unique point of view of a Chinese mother who has had experience working and living overseas and who cares deeply for this country.”

Her work coincides with the Beijing Municipal Government’s public campaigns to promote awareness of the need for improved public etiquette in advance of the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing.

Mischke likes to quote the words of her house help to illustrate just how meaningful the work she does is for people.

“My aiyi (household helper) read the transcript of the book before it was published. When she fully understood what we were trying to do, she said to me: ‘WOW! China will become such a nice place.’ ”