The Case of the Cabbie Compliment

For the past 13 years I have made a small fortune by writing numerous articles that pointed out the faults and foibles of Beijing cabbies—it was an easy way to make cash! Now I am finally converting, or maybe it is just time for payback. Where I was once paid to point out cabbies’ odours, lack of demeanour, hatred of seatbelts, love of “stanky” cigarettes, as well as their numerous methods of cheating foreigners, I will now focus on the positive aspects of Beijing’s fleet of dedicated drivers. I will share productive compliments that the cabbies sometimes give us, and the praises we should always give them. They all work ridiculously hard under harsh conditions after all.

First, I will show you, or remind you, how to understand six cabbie compliments and how to say a few in Chinese. I will also note, for posterity’s sake, which ones I have actually heard from drivers and which ones I only hear in my dreams!

 

Top eight Cabbie compliments and their translations

8.   Your Chinese is great! (Ni de zhongwen hen bang!)

      (This is an actual compliment—I am sure you have all heard this if you understood it or not! Sometimes just by saying “Ni hao!” correctly a polite driver will compliment you with, “Ni de zhongwen hen bang!”

7.   No need to give me money (bu yong qian) for the ride. It was just a pleasure to hang with you!

      (In my dreams—plus there are a few people in my life that I wish would say “bu yong qian.”)

6.   Foreigners are so great; if they just spit they make money. (zhen qian = make money)

      (Actually, the cabbie who complimented me on how easily I could zhen qian was a fast driver and a faster talker!)

5.   You make me want to visit your home country.

      (But I was pretending to be Canadian at the time. (Canadian = Jianadaren) It always helps to pretend you are a Jianadaren, unless you are trying to pick up girls!

4.   I love you like a mouse loves rice! (Wo ai ni, aizhe ni, jiu xiang laoshu ai dami.)

      (Added for comedy, this an annoyingly catchy pop song)

3.   Meeting you has given me a new appreciation of life, so now I will really fasten my seatbelt (ji anquan dai) and not just lay it across my lap!

      (Deep in my dreams! Why don’t drivers here like to ji anquan dai?)

2.     I invite you into my cab anytime. (Huanying ni zuo wo de che.)

      (In fact the enthusiasm with which a real driver said, “Huanying ni zuo wo de che,” inspired me to write this productive article.)

1.   Don’t just call me buddy (germer,) call me close friend! (tie germer)

      (Try to turn all cabbies into tie germer!)

 

Compliments to give the hard working cabbies

8.   Thanks for obeying all six of the new taxi rules (guize). Oh, what, there are nine new guize?

7.   You are a master of curse words! (zanghua) (Cabs are great places to learn the local zanghua. Some say to truly be fluent in a language one have to be a master of poetry and or zanghua.

6.   You sing Peking Opera (Jingju) very well! (I am surprised a man of your size can hit those high notes! Once I thought my driver was singing Jingju, but, in reality, he was just yelling because he closed the door on his finger!)

5.   Thanks for keeping me safe.

4.   You sure showed that stupid cyclist! (Ask a cabbie how to say that!)

3.   I apologize for the actions of my president and the falsely hiked up gas (qiyou) prices! (for Americans only) (I personally love the smell of napalm and qiyou in the morning.)

2.   Thanks for blaring the old crosstalk (xiangsheng) at full volume the entire ride through your shattered speakers! (The famous Jianadaren Da Shan got famous by doing xiangsheng.)

1.   Don’t just call me germer, call me tie germer!

(This compliment, like all the best things in the world, can go both ways!)