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A Roadmap for School Parent Conferences

Collaboration, even partnership, in educating a child is the aim of any parent-teacher conference, but all-too-often the results achieved are less than optimal. At best, new understandings that will aid a child’s education are achieved; at worst, parents and teachers return to their respective worlds more confused or demoralized than when the conference began.

Parents and teachers need guidelines to get the most out of “Meet the Teachers” sessions so they can improve classroom behaviour and enhance learning. But what should parents (and students) be getting out of it? The following are some ideas about how to conduct and participate in a parent-teacher conference we hope BTM readers will find useful.

 Ask the school for a calendar at the beginning of the school year so that you know when the PT conferences are and can plan your social engagements around them. 

 Listen to what your children say about what they are doing at school and discuss this with them. Take notes of key things your child says, your ideas and observations about them and discuss them with your child’s teachers. Prepare to discuss two or three of your most important concerns with the teacher at any given session. Don’t just complain.

 If a disciplinary matter is in question, if possible, give yourself and the school some time to “cool off.” Think about the issues at hand and gain as much perspective as possible before “demanding justice.” Be prepared to discover that things may not be as simple or as obvious as you might have first thought. “Pushing the boundaries” is a normal part of a child’s development,  but they must also learn to accept the consequences of his or her actions. A parent can expect a school to provide details of specific incidents based on notes taken at the time, including a description of what happened, names, dates, and any action taken. These records can help educators  and parents identify patterns of behaviour. It is useful at such a conference to make a written record of any action to which you, the school’s representative and the student in question (if appropriate) sign in agreement. Transparency, honesty, fairness and looking to learn from an experience are keys to a successful outcome.

 Use conference time wisely. There needs to be time for you to listen but also for you to raise and discuss key concerns with teachers. Five minutes is usually too short and 15 minutes probably too long if teachers are meeting many parents back to back. Preparation is important, but teachers and parents should be able to follow up their discussion by e-mail or letter in the days that follow.

 Parents should feel welcomed. Meeting locations and materials needed should be provided in a clear and efficient way. The visit should be a pleasure, including up-to-date displays of student’s work, a brief video or other exhibitions and welcoming posters in the languages used within the school community. Especially if parents must wait, (which should be very limited) they should be given a place to sit down and relax and chat with fellow parents. They should expect an inviting atmosphere, perhaps even a beverage and a snack.

 Some schools have the foresight to allow parents to look through work folders before the day of the conference. Doing this saves time wasted in simply going through the work when you could be discussing particular issues with the teacher. 

 Parents and teachers are encouraged (quite rightly) to begin and end conference meetings on a positive note. The trick here is to discern what really needs to be discussed and to quickly establish a fruitful rapport between parent and teacher, the home and school environment. The process requires understanding and meeting the individual needs of the child. This, in turn, requires objectivity and a commitment to critically evaluating the range of learning opportunities, challenges and support available to both parents and teachers. This process begins with active and empathic listening between parents, teachers and children.

 Knowledge of a child’s non-school routine, at home or play, can be useful for teachers, because it informs them of a student’s interests outside of school and any hidden talents and achievements. 

 Parents and teachers should speak plainly in a meeting and avoid blaming parents, teachers or society for every ill. Avoid being drawn into deep discussions about family problems, comparisons with siblings, other students, other teachers or other parents. Good teachers are trained to recognize problems that affect a child’s education, but which are beyond the scope of education to handle. The parent must be ready to act when needed. 

 Avoid getting too emotional when discussing problems. Feelings are important, but the aim is to foster a spirit of collaboration and partnership. Parents are invited to help implement and monitor an agreed action plan, something that all parties (including the student) should be able to live with. Targets should be agreed and achievements should be acknowledged and rewarded. It is best to stay cool and work with your child’s teacher.  Many teachers give a work e-mail address or a phone contact number at school to aid communication.

 The conference should end on a hopeful note, with a clear sense of purpose and direction having been established and a date set for review. There should be an assurance that your input as a parent is a vital component in your child’s learning experience and development. Parents should not abdicate their nurturing responsibilities to schools, but neither should schools delegate their professional responsibilities to parents.

This list is by no means exhaustive and some themes touched upon here are likely to be developed further at your request. Enjoy the conferencing season!