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The Face of Courage

In their quest for gold and glory, international athletes live in a world of nanoseconds and superbly honed techniques. They give all that their body and mind can produce, be it speed, stamina, courage or the explosive athleticism that only a top gymnast like Sang Lan can display. For which, sadly, read "could display" before an accident that left her young life shattered -- temporarily, as she defiantly insists -- just as surely as the fracture-dislocation of two cervical vertebrae in her spine.

Today, almost three years on, she says: "I have strong confidence that one day I will stand up and walk again. The developments in medical science will make such things happen. That's why I do all I can to exercise my body, to prevent the muscles from deteriorating. If one day medicine can cure me, I must make sure I'm physically ready and fit to handle the therapy, which I know will be very hard and demanding on me."

Her determination, optimism and faith in medical science, which shone through during an exclusive interview with Beijing This Month, would be applauded by equally disabled Hollywood star Christopher "Superman" Reeve, who a few years ago broke his neck when thrown from his horse. He was among the first to visit Sang when she was hospitalized in the US. She recalls: "He told me never to think about the accident again, because an accident is an accident and no one can avoid it. He also said we would both walk again in the next few years."

Sang was also visited by movie mega-star Leonardo DiCaprio, who she had long idolized, and singer Celine Dion. "Leonardo told me that I have to use the spirit of gymnastics, the spirit of not giving up, and to keep on fighting," said Sang. "Celine reminded me that I am a big inspiration to people because of my outlook, and to keep up the good work."

The tragic event, which saw Sang lose mid-air control and land on her head, came during routine practice of forward somersaults over a vault horse during the Goodwill Games in New York in 1998. It left then 17-year-old Sang with only limited control of her arms and hands, and confined to a wheelchair. In sports parlance it was a freak accident for which there was no logical explanation. Sang had perfected her routine through childhood and into her teenage years, and on this day, like any other, had gone through it a number of times before the split-second that brought disaster.
Today, approaching her 20th birthday, she recalls: "When I was told what had happened to me, I was surprised that it was so bad. At first I was also very angry, and couldn't accept it. I asked myself how it could have happened, and constantly said 'Why me?' It took me a while to accept the reality. But my parents and guardians, and my friends and their families, gave me a lot of support, both in life and in lifting my spirits. I lived on their love ..."

Sang's devastating experience is familiar to athletes and sports officials the world over, in part for its rarity but -- almost from the day of the accident -- more for the manner in which this slip of a girl with the wide smile and boyish hairstyle has refused to concede defeat to the sheer awfulness of her situation and the many pressures and demands that now constitute a large part of her life.

While it is well and good that everyone wishes for her recovery and getting back onto her feet, the Chinese public in particular see her as a great heroine with the courage of a lion and tenacity of a bulldog -- the very best of Chinese womanhood. They appreciate that such resolve would be rare in a mature adult athlete, let alone a tiny lass who, as yet, has barely had the chance to experience what life is like outside the demanding confines of gymnastic training. Hers is an outstanding courage, and only she knows how to draw it from her inner self in order to keep going.

These days, Sang is reluctant to give interviews, partly because much of her day is spent catching up on lost education -- the price of gymnastic commitment -- and because some areas of the media have projected her as a brave little sweetie-cutie, an image she finds both offensive and objectionable.

While her strength was transparent during her interview with BTM, there was also a hint of (understandable) vulnerability. "I don't like being left alone to get on with my life by myself," she admitted frankly. "I was born open-minded, and I like to be with people. I like to communicate with them, especially my friends and sometimes the media. I have learned a lot from them, especially people who are also disabled."

We asked about those closest to her, and whether they made her feel less dependent on them in their efforts to assist her. In according high praise to her parents for the inspiration they give her, she said: "Sometimes I have been annoyed when help was given to me that I didn't need. I think all disabled people like to feel independent. I always say I can do it myself, but often they forget and instinctively try to help. I know it is because they love me so much, and they can't resist helping me."

Of the best and worst hours of her day, Sang said she really enjoys surfing on the Internet and entering chatrooms to talk with people on all manner of subjects. In its own way, the Internet takes her around the world. "And when I don't have classes with my visiting tutor, I like to talk to close friends," she added. "Bad hours? Yes, when I feel tired after classes and doing my daily physical exercises."

Her dream is to enter university, hence the middle-school courses she is currently taking. "I want to enroll in university as soon as possible, but I'm not sure when it will be. I just hope my next five years will be on campus. I am only six months from my twentieth birthday, and I don't want to go there when I'm too old!"